Number 2 in our Teen Life Skills Series is all about developing phone skills.
For some teens, talking on the phone is easy. In fact, they may do it so frequently that the phone is like a natural extension of their bodies. While they may be able to gab with their friends endlessly, these chatty conversationalists may not know all of the ins and outs of phone etiquette, especially with adults.
For other teens, making and receiving phone calls is a stressful experience. They may fumble with knowing what to say or speak very little. These teens, on the other hand, just need a bit of knowledge and experience to develop confidence on the phone.
This post is about helping both kinds of teens. It offers tips and suggestions for good phone etiquette as well as recommendations on how to handle certain situations that adults face such as solicitations. It is my hope that this post will help your teen develop confidence with using the phone and prepare him for life as an adult.
Phone Skills
Talking on the phone doesn’t have to be a stressful situation. With a little knowledge and practice, you can develop some “phone finesse” and become a pro at talking on that handy device invented by Alexander Graham Bell. Here are some useful tips that will help you become confident with handling almost any phone situation.
General Phone Tips
Start with “Hello.” That’s the traditional greeting in America. It’s “Bueno” in Latin American countries. Use the one that fits your native language, just don’t start with silence. That’s not polite.
Speaking of polite, be courteous when you are on the phone. When that phone rings, you never know who may be calling. It could be the queen of England, or your father’s boss, or someone of even greater importance – like your mother. So make a good impression on the caller. Use your “please’s,” “excuse me’s,” and “thank you’s.” Avoid interrupting the other person.
Pay attention to the tone of your voice. Try to be pleasant. Remember that the person on the other end of the line can’t see your face so their impression of you is based solely on the sound of your vocal cords.
Smile when you talk on the phone. Yes, I know I just said that the other person can’t see you. In this case, it doesn’t matter because a smile comes through in the tone of your voice. Really, it does. Try saying a sentence with a smile on your face and then say that same one with a frown and see how your voice sounds. Different, huh? Also, smiling makes it easier to maintain a positive attitude which is my next point.
Be positive. You’re much more likely to get positive results from a situation when you have a positive attitude. That old saying “You can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar” is really true.
Enunciate clearly and make sure you’re heard. The person on the other end will have a difficult time understanding you if you mumble or speak too quietly.
Choose your words carefully. Think before you speak. Use good grammar and punctuation. (Just kidding) Save slang for conversations with the friends who use it.
Be a good listener. The person on the other end of the phone wants to be heard, otherwise he wouldn’t have called.
When talking with people you know, be a good conversationalist. Don’t just talk about yourself. Ask the other person questions. Make the other person feel blessed when he speaks to you.
Avoid extraneous noises. Try to stay away from noisy devices such as dishwashers and TVs. Don’t eat, drink, or chew gum while you are on the phone. Avoid yawning, burping, or other bodily sounds. If you need to cough or sneeze, cover up the mouth piece.
If you have a bad connection, explain that to the caller in a normal tone of voice. Remember that just because you can’t hear him doesn’t mean he can’t hear you. The best plan of action in this situation is to have one of you call the other back again to see if you can get a better connection.
If you really need to speak to someone else while you are on the phone, say “Excuse me for a moment please.” Cover up the mouth piece and have a brief conversation with the other person.
When you have a visitor at your house or are visiting someone else, don’t carry on long phone conversations. It’s not polite. Your attention should be on your guest or host.
Be careful of what information you give out over the phone. If you are alone in the house as a teen, don’t mention that to a stranger. When you are an adult and have your own checking account, don’t give your bank card number or other financial information over the phone unless you KNOW who you are talking to and KNOW it is safe. For example, if you call a company to order something, it is safe to give out your number. Be careful of people who call you and ask you for that information. They may not be who they say they are.
End your calls with a pleasant “goodbye.” It’s not very courteous to just hang up without concluding the conversation.
Making a Call
When calling a friend or relative, begin by identifying yourself. Say “Hello. This is…” Not everyone has caller ID and the person may not recognize your voice over the phone.
Avoid calling at certain times of the day. Don’t call too early in the morning or too late at night unless it’s to call your parents. Also, respect people’s dinner hour unless you want to hear them crunching their carrots while they chat with you.
If the person you want to speak to isn’t home, you can leave a message on their answering machine or voice mail. Be sure to include your name, number, and the reason you are calling.
If you are the caller when a conversation gets disconnected, you should be the one to call the other person back. That’s your job, not the other person’s.
If you dial a wrong number, apologize. It’s the right thing to do.
When calling a business, have your goal in mind. Think about why you are calling. Do you want to know their hours? Do you need directions? Do you want to find out if they have something in stock? Then, think about what you want to say. You can even jot some notes down on a piece of paper if it helps. You’ll be a lot less nervous on the phone if you prepare yourself ahead of time. Here are some phrases you can use when calling a business (don’t forget to start with “Hello” 😉 ):
- I’m calling about…
- I’m calling to find out…
- I was wondering if…
Receiving a Call
Answer a phone promptly. It isn’t polite to make the person on the other end of the line wait. Plus, a ringing phone can be an annoyance or a distraction to other people in the house. The exception to this is in the next tip.
If you are too busy to talk to someone, let the answering machine or voicemail get it. It isn’t very courteous to tell someone that you are too busy to talk to them, so let a device take a message and you can call him back when you are free.
If someone calls when you are expecting an important call from another person, explain that to the caller as soon as possible. Tell him something like “I would love to talk with you right now, but I am expecting a call. Could you call me back at a later time?”
If you get a call during a meal, explain that you are eating and ask the caller if he can call back later. That’s the most polite way to handle that situation.
When a caller asks for you, say “This is s/he.” That’s the typical, polite way to respond.
When someone calls but doesn’t identify themselves right away, you can respond in one of two ways. You can ask “Who is this please?” or say “May I ask who is calling?”
If you receive a call from someone who dialed a wrong number, tell them so in a polite way. Say “I’m sorry. You have the wrong number.”
If you get a call asking for someone who is not home, ask the caller if he’d like to leave a message. If he does, write down the information on a piece of paper. Repeat back the caller’s information and message as you do so that you can be sure you got it right.
Tips for Handling Phone Solicitations
When you become an adult and have your own home, you may get phone calls from solicitors. Those are organizations such as businesses or charities that want your money. Here are some tips on how to handle them.
First, you’ll probably want to make sure your phone number is on the National Do Not Call Registry. That will reduce the number of calls you get. You can register at DoNotCall.gov.
When receiving a call from a charity that you are willing to support, it’s not a good idea to give your bank card or credit card number over the phone. Instead, offer to send a check. It’s safer.
When you get a call from a business or charity that you don’t want to support, ask to be added to their do-not-call list. They won’t be able to call you back for five years.
When it comes to learning all of these strategies, remember this: Practice makes perfect. Every opportunity that you get to talk on the phone, with adults especially, will help you develop “phone finesse.”